MY HEAD IS SO SORE!!!!!

And my lower back is WRECKING!!! AND I have a tooth ache because I think I broke a filling before – well – I’m almost certain I did – BOOOOO.

BUT, even with all that – I have been good and stuck to plan – and only had one Fererro Rocher… That said I did also have a ‘Skinny Latte’ – them chilled ones out the fridges in Tescos. BUT I chose the skinniest one instead of the double shot I usually get – or the GIANT one – so I’m pleased! I bought it to try and combat the headache which I thought may have been Caffeine withdrawal – HOWEVER it was obviously brought on by sniffing too much Acetone – accidentally!!! I spilled some paint all over the carpet – oops!

So today went fairly well, I’m going to try and knock my morning coffee on the head as the caffeine really makes my belly wobble on the inside and it fills me up so I can’t fit all my breakfast in and breakfast is the most important at the end of the day! I had my soup for lunch and then an apple and a tangerine! GO ME! eating fruit!

I’m noticing my aches and pains at the moment, lower back and hips are really sore from being a flobbalobba! But I’m looking forward to the future. I can FEEL it this time! 2016 is the one!!!!

I heard about the SIRTfood diet today on the radio – sounds BRILLIANT and healthy! I want some HEALTH! So I’ve downloaded the book and I’ll give it a read! – today feeling positive ๐Ÿ™‚ but tired as a sack of shit!

Day 3 –ย Seven Daily Rituals (I stole these from the APP) here โ€“ for you all to seeย ๐Ÿ™‚ย As well as stopping being a lard ass you see โ€“ Iโ€™d like to give up my Facebook addiction and reconnect with my lifeย ๐Ÿ™‚

HEALTH โ€“ What have you done today to improve your health? (EG โ€“ Walk, exercize, yoga, drink more water, cut out one coffee a day?)

Sweet FA :S – Today has been a BUSY one! But I suppose I did choose healthy ISH options. my snack was some chicken breast and fruit so I guess I’ve stuck to my plan and that is beneficial to health YAY!

WEALTH โ€“ What have you done today to improve your wealth? (EG โ€“ Filing, picked up a coin or a note off the street, do a budget, look for a property?

Nothing at all! oops!

GRATITUDE โ€“ What have you seen, heard, smelt, touched or experienced that you are grateful for? (EG โ€“ Smell a beautiful rose, experience a special moment)

I am grateful that the OH made my tea and my hot chocolate and got me pain killers and ferried me to Tescos to buy plastic wallets!

EDUCATION โ€“ What have you done today to improve your education? (EG โ€“ Read a book, listen to an educational CD or podcast, learn to play guitar.)

I’ve just bought the SIRTFOOD diet book and I can’t wait to read it!!!

RELATIONSHIP โ€“ What have you done today to connect at a human level with family and friends? (EG โ€“ Ring your mum, brother etc. Tell someone you care.)

A momentary text message to a friend! Been very busy today!

SPIRITUAL โ€“ What have you done today to help someone else โ€“ to make a difference? (EG Teach a child, help a stranger)

I meditated!!!

FUN โ€“ What have you done today to simply have fun, relax, laugh and enjoy life? (EG โ€“ Laugh with a friend, picnic with the kids, swim in the ocean.)

I read a lovely story book to some children and they digged it!

 

Goooooooooooooooood night! x x

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What a Day – I’m on my way!

PHEW! What a day!

First off – my porridge (that I’d soaked overnight with water) exploded all over the microwave! Then I REALLY didn’t want to eat it – HOWEVER, once I added a bit of salt I actually really enjoyed it – think ill add an apple tomorrow too!

Then I forgot to take my lunch out with me!! So by 2.30 I was FAMISHED so headed off to Tesco only to find that I’d left my bank cards at home!!! But thankfully I had my parking change AND I found a pound in the parking lot! BUT jeez Louise – how expensive are lunch things that are healthy and not sandwiches?? I ended up getting a pot of cottage cheese and some chicken tikka pieces and a diet coke – I wanted to add some salad but couldn’t afford it and didn’t fancy salad instead of the cheese!

So after a VERY long day at work – I have just finished my Pea and Potato soup (meant to be lunch – but ended up being dinner at 9pm), I’ve just had one crisp (while the other half had the whole half a bag and some Ferrero Rochers) and now I’m going to have a hot chocolate and head to bed!

I know I’m meant to have fruit before snacks BUT my hot chocolate is the second half of my HEA and I DONT CARE! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve had a long day, I’m very tired but I have also been very good! WOOHOO

day 2: ย Seven Daily Rituals (I stole these from the APP) here – for you all to see ๐Ÿ™‚ As well as stopping being a lard ass you see – I’d like to give up my Facebook addiction and reconnect with my life ๐Ÿ™‚

HEALTH – What have you done today to improve your health? (EG – Walk, exercize, yoga, drink more water, cut out one coffee a day?)

I had one coffee, one diet coke and 2 bottles of water! YAY to the water!! I’ve also stuck to plan instead of eating whatever from the shop when I forgot my lunch!!

WEALTH – What have you done today to improve your wealth? (EG – Filing, picked up a coin or a note off the street, do a budget, look for a property?

I found a pound today!!!!

GRATITUDE – What have you seen, heard, smelt, touched or experienced that you are grateful for? (EG – Smell a beautiful rose, experience a special moment)

I am gratefulย that I nearly got all my work done today. Not quite – theres a bit I have to re-do as it didn’t work quite how I wanted.

EDUCATION – What have you done today to improve your education? (EG – Read a book, listen to an educational CD or podcast, learn to play guitar.)

Sweet FA – well – not true. I learned a bit more about painting!

RELATIONSHIP – What have you done today to connect at a human level with family and friends? (EG – Ring your mum, brother etc. Tell someone you care.)

Been texting my lovely friend and arranging a holiday for the summer!

SPIRITUAL – What have you done today to help someone else – to make a difference? (EG Teach a child, help a stranger)

Nothing ๐Ÿ˜ฆ boohoo! – Butย I did meditate! So I’ve helped me ๐Ÿ™‚

FUN – What have you done today to simply have fun, relax, laugh and enjoy life? (EG – Laugh with a friend, picnic with the kids, swim in the ocean.)

Listened to The BEATLES!!!! all day!!!! YEA! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Peas Out! x x x

 

 

 

 

 

New Years Day – The Gluttony has got to STOP

As I’m sitting here mindlessly watching the count down of the best 100 soaps on TV, a thought pops into my head.ย “Man, I wish I had some soap here now to wash out my bloody stomach with!”.ย I feel AWFUL! I start to take a mental photograph, telling myself that I have to remember exactly how bad I am feeling today – to help spur me on for the rest of the year. Its January first, I’m Thirty Three years young, sitting in a gorgeous deluxe hotel room on the coast, with a view to die for and the sounds of the sea lapping gently outside my window, the man I love and who has loved and cherished me for the past 6 years lying next to me and yet I feel like a complete and utter failure. My left leg is throbbing from my hip down to the ankle (a pain that started when I put the weight on and that is getting worse by the extra pound!), my entire body is sore, I ache all over (I’ve got Fibromyalgia – which too only came with the weight), my tummy is the size of the world AND to top it all off, I can actually feel my food sitting in my throat. I’m so full my stomach has bubbled over and now I’ve got stodge backed up all the way to the rooftop!

This has got to stop. I can feel the gluttony of the past few days, heck who am I kidding – the past few YEARS! rising in my throat. I can’t believe we just went out for a meal even though the pair of us were so bloody full from the fish and chips we had at lunch that we could barely fit any of the Seabass or Aubergine Gratin into our mouths!

“Didn’t stop you stuffing a few extra chips in though did it eh?”ย 

And I remember the salad that sat at the edge of the plate, untouched – yet all of the Seabass and its crispy fried skin fitted in alright! All washed down with a “Diet” coke. ha – the irony. ๐Ÿ™‚

As I’m sitting here, and we’re managing to push in a few more Celebrations I realise – I’ve got to do something. And THIS TIME – it HAS to last. Please Dear God, let it last!

7 years ago – I lost all the weight. I got down – briefly – to 10 stone. I fitted into all my beautiful clothes again. The beautiful clothes that have been filling bin bags and going mouldy in the loft for the last few years. As I remember my gorgeous dog tooth pencil skirt that my beautiful Grandmother gave to me and the 1930’s chequered dress I only ever managed to wear once and all the other beautiful second hand, thrift store finds that I love, that bring back beautiful memories, that help me show my colourful interest in all things Old off to the world, I start to feel even more sad. Bet they are all ruined now, sitting in bin bags in the loft.

My wardrobe currently consists of 4 pairs of the same black (stretchy waistband) trousers and the brown dress. The same bloody brown dress that has featured in every single (unwanted) photograph thats been taken of me in the last 3 years. I can’t do another New Years Eve in the bloody brown dress! AND Asda don’t even sell my stretchy waistband pants any more and I need some new ones for work as they are getting holey! ARG!!

So this time, I’m going to try again. 2015 taught me Acceptance. 2016 will teach me Self Discipline, once again – I’ve turned my life around before (many times – and not just with weight) so I know I can do it again. ๐Ÿ™‚

LETS BLOODY DO THIS! YEA!